Mini Series: Parenting Parallels

Are your ducks in a row?

Radio silence would be an understatement in this instance. It has been well over a year since I last jotted anything down. During this time I have had 3 miscarriages, 2 weeks of miscarriage-related seizures...and 1 baby! All these very major life events have meant that I have had time to reflect on the parallels between life and nursing.

This time on maternity leave is special. A privilege. An honour. But it has highlighted how much I love my job, and that I look forward to returning to work. Truthfully, becoming a mother has made my job look like a walk in the park.

With motherhood, there is no handover or shift change. Think about it as being on call 24/7, 7 days a week. Add to that the loss of identity, physical changes, emotional rollercoaster, and sleep deprivation; and you've got yourself into the hardest job in the world. All of my most difficult days at work added together still wouldn't be as hard as being a parent.

I have found, during the odd (rare more like!) moments of quietude that there are similarities that can be drawn. So I have decided to start a 'mini series' whereby I will reflect on my journey and learning experiences as a first-time mother, and consider how my learning to be a parent might make me better at nursing.

I often find that reflective practice is best done in 2 parts - immediately after the fact and then again after some time has elapsed. This is because, as the adage goes, hindsight is a wonderful thing. Reflecting immediately allows you to promptly deal with emotion and guides you through your next steps. Reflecting after space and time away from the event allows you to think more subjectively and gives a greater learning opportunity. Both forms are useful and important to improving nursing practice.

So my first musing in this mini-series is thus - get your ducks in a row.

I am organised. A planner. I like order and routine in my life and this carries over to my working practice. I have a general routine for my shift that I find, if I am able to follow it, gives me a structure to follow and allows me the headspace to think; much in the same way that following the A-E assessment for patient care takes the guesswork out of "what's next". (I am assuming at this point that if you are reading this, you have some nursing knowledge and understand the reference point. If not, please do message me and I would be happy to explain. Or Google. Google knows).

I like to start by going around to all of my patients and saying hello. From my hospital experiences, I know what it is like not to know who is looking after you for the day, so I immediately eradicate that potential problem. At the same time, I check the emergency equipment. That part is self-explanatory really...

I then check any outstanding medications to administer and then work out a plan for my patients for the day - looking at what jobs I might need to do, or what care they might need. Then I get stuck in helping my colleagues with direct patient care.

Since I have been qualified (2 years now!) I have made my own nursing "brain" sheet - somewhere that I write myself notes on medications, things to do, things to hand over, and plans. I usually find that if I can take some time at the start of my shift to get things organised I am in a much clearer head space than if I jumped in all higgledy-piggledy. Of course, sometimes the shift doesn't lend itself to a neat and orderly start. But by having a routine and a structure I can fall back on, if I am dealing with something that takes me out of that normal routine, I know where I got to and what I need to do. Now some people are able to just jump in and work it all out in their heads. Some people write notes directly onto their handover. Some people are magic and can remember everything as the day goes on. But I can't, so I do what works for me and write it down. It has taken me a long time to stop seeing this as a weakness and instead see it as a strength. I have lost count of how many students have asked for a copy of my "brain" as it helps them to break down the shift into various clinical aspects.

You might at this point be wondering where this prattle is leading and how this links to parenting, if at all. Well. Easy. You don't start a job without having everything you need to get started. Whether it's giving your baby a bath, or inserting a catheter, you have to have all your equipment ready. There is a tiny human relying on you to get it right, or at least not to get it disastrously wrong. If you give them a bath and forget the towel, they'll get cold if you leave them to go and get it. Except you shouldn't leave them alone near water. So you carry them, all slippery, wet, and cold to get changed. This in itself is a dangerous mission...babies are notoriously incontinent.

Everyone has their own ways of working, and their own strengths to play to. I give my baby a bath slightly differently from how my husband does it. But neither of them is wrong. Whether you are planning out your shift, or a singular care event, get yourself organised first, in whichever way works for you. It will save you time and energy in the long run (how many of us have provided care and forgotten half the stuff needed and had to run back and forth?) So the moral of the story is: play to your strengths; accept that you will work differently from others and stay as organised as possible in your own way.

Ducks in a row = not getting peed on. Hopefully...