"Do you fancy ICU?"

I had been allocated a random night shift to work. One night in a week of days. As someone with chronic insomnia, I find it hard to adjust between nights and days, so I wasn't looking forward to the shift but decided to make the best of it.

I hadn't slept properly, so I felt exhausted, but I walked into frailty with a smile on my face. I hadn't got my pin yet, so the nurse working with me identified that we would struggle with all the medications that needed two signatories. She spoke to the bed manager. The bed manager said that she could send an agency nurse if someone went up to ICU to give them a hand. They were struggling with their patients and not nurses.

So. I donned my coat and wandered up the ICU. Trepidatitious, and feeling slightly nauseated, I rang the bell. The Sister that answered the door had a huge smile on her face and said how happy she was that I was joining them. I immediately felt better and walked in with more confidence. I had a tour of the department and was welcomed by all the team. Breaks and facilities were explained, and I felt so comfortable. I immediately stuck in, tidying up, clearing out dirty linen, and just generally making myself useful.

I thought I would be shocked. Seeing patients on ventilators, with tubes and wires everywhere, should have been shocking. But instead, I found it so easy to accept. In fact, I was more shocked that I wasn't shocked! All the staff took the time to explain what they were doing and why, and to teach me all about what they do. And I completely take my hat off to the ICU team. ICU nursing is meticulous, exacting, and full of little tweaks. Observing a patient who was prone, who continued to desaturate; and the nurse who was moving his head millimetre by millimetre, and slightly adjusting his ventilator, to try and save his life. It was completely awe-inspiring.

A couple of hours in, and I was actively involved in providing personal care to ventilated patients; was completing observations on the in-house IT system, monitoring vital signs, measuring urine output and alerting the nurse when the medication needed changing. After an explanation about sedation and ventilation, I highlighted to the nurse that I thought the sedation may have been too light for a patient, as they were trying to remove the ventilation. They came to assess and found that this patient needed a higher dose. My instinct and observation proved to be correct!

My time in the ICU was brief but so eye-opening. It has made me realise that more high dependency nursing is what I am looking to do and that I was so privileged to have worked in that environment. Thank you to the team!!